RAMADAN DAY 13 Slowly, slowly but surely ☆
Choosing me, going inside is an act of resistance and trust
My antennas have always been open to the outside, while my mind was very loud inside. This Ramadan is my choice to go inside as much as I can. As Rishme said last night “ No I did not travel to places like mount Agung, but I traveled many places inside”.
The pattern I practiced most of my life was taking care of the “perceived” needs of others. As I was trained to listen when my Dads car came home, the moment het got home i was supposed to be available for work.
A pattern out of fear, that I learned from my Mom too. A pattern that was deepened when my parents asked me to take care of my sisters and brothers. Taking care of their safety.
A well needed skill for human beings to survive from one generation to another.
A skill I do not need anymore and is not serving me anymore.

As I feel I am not ready to share a room or house with somebody else , since its activates this skill to take care of others. I still loose the practice of going inside while in the company of somebody else, even with somebody I love so dearly as my soul sister Rishme. So I had to tell her, trusting that our connection will grow even deeper when I become more me.
Taking a shower, going inside, touching my skin from the heart. It feels as if I meet me for the first time. Welcome home in this body darling.
☆ sharing truth with Addy at Le Bistro, Gili Air

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